Today I thought it be entirely necessary to indulge carelessly and uninformatively on Frances’ useless heritage – this because of last nights game, where the girls in blue received such a solid whipping from an African soccer team, that most of them will evidently be impotent (or be giving birth to stillborns) for the remainder of their sad, aggressive, and opinionated lives.
I’ll begin todays lesson on a low note, expressing many concerns towards the French in general. Followed shortly after by their football teams lack of pride and integrity, the putrid smell of their unbrushed teeth, and their blatant disrespect towards the hosting nation (My effing country, frogs).
Pardon my fabrication.
It all started some time back… when the pussy-whipped infidels (French forces) got owned by a few Swiss army knives, and half a Twinkie – thus cowardly giving up their country to the Germans (who were merely one man at the time of attack) in quick succession.
What followed was a series of insignificance chapters in what is now French history. Basically nonsense (in an attempt to recreate some sense of stability, and possibly move on from past embarrassment).
So they erect some silly tower, create space for a famous art gallery, and begin creation of an airplane that will spend more time on the ground than in the air.
Furthermore, they elect a 3inch footstool as president! A president who’s entire defense force is now out 24/7 preventing attacks from snakes, and medium-sized birds – often because he is misidentified as legitimate prey for these animals.
What makes things all the more historic, is that he also happens to have a fear of heights. How poetic.
Now we shoot on ahead (not much really) to 18 November 2009… The day marked as the “Hand of Henry”. Basically the French shouldn’t even be here. Infecting our soil with their edible snails, and cowardly carcases.
Their attitude stinks. Their football is grotesque. And their time is over.
Its no wonder all ex-French footballers begin auditioning for local soapies soon after retirement…
French this .|.