1. Battle the cockroach population for Middle Earth.
2. Successfully consume the largest cookie.
3. Be well known around the world (and historically) for successfully consuming the largest cookie.
4. Receive a house on a remote island in honour of successfully consuming the largest cookie.
5. Purchase, or locate, 4 awesome golden retrievers to live a lavishing lifestyle with me, and my house, on the remote island (that was honoured to me in succession of eating the largest cookie).
6. Invent democracy.
7. Take-down a major corporate single-handedly.
8. Remove hypocrisy from my life.
9. Transform into a level 13 mage.
10. Invent reincarnation – thus deeming this list unnecessary.
11. Tackle the headache cure.
12. Take stress by the balls, castrate it, snip off the remains, and knit a suitable cockwarmer for myself.
13. Steal both of Ronaldinho’s legs – to be used as bed-side lamps.
14. Prove the unlikely existence of the underpants gnome.
15. Think of at least one awesome quote.
16. Write a novel on absurdity.
17. Major in philosophy.
18. Reprogram my brain into thinking otherwise.
19. Spread the love.
20. Spread the seed (common goal).
21. Beat Cancer, Aids, Herpes, and all South Central street gangs.
22. Take back my virginity (again).
23. Learn to shave properly.
24. Shave my nutsack.
25. Build a Deathstar.
26. Defeat a Jedi.
27. Obtain the ability to pinpoint the position of a Ninja at any given time.
